Have to Give Constructive Feedback?..Don’t Do What Naomi Judd Did to Me

 

“OMG…that’s Naomi Judd!” I think as she strolls into my conference presentation looking glamorous, wearing movie star shades in an attempt to go semi-incognito.

Throughout my program on resilience, she would occasionally share her point of view.

BTW…if you don’t know, she isn’t just a music legend, she was a nurse and is very into mind/body medicine and personal development.

I loved her book The Transparent Self. It’s a testament to belief and determination. She did not have an easy life to say the least and how she worked with what she had an accomplished what she has is amazing.

Anyway…back to our interaction…

OK…I’ll let this video clip tell the story and then I want to you reflect on how you “warm someone up” when giving them feedback.

One last thing before you watch it…Naomi was AMAZINGLY generous to me in shooting a testimonial video (the one to the right) back in the day when it was a major production to do that. Naomi…if you ever read this…thanks again for being so incredibly generous!!!!

 

 

Starting off your feedback in way that immediately puts someone on the defensive or triggers “Oh no…what are they about to say?” is obviously NOT a good way to set the stage for your feedback to be received well. Here are a few other common feedback mistakes to avoid:

Do You Make These Common Feedback Mistakes?

  1. Do you do the infamous–or it should be infamous, yet some people still teach it–Sandwich Technique?
  2. Do you beat around the bush, leaving the person wondering “What are they getting at?”, while becoming increasingly more agitated, waiting for the hammer to fall?
  3. Do you do too much context and too many disclaimers? (this is an area I still work on because I so don’t want to cause hurt)
  4. Are you too blunt and harsh in your message, so the person leaves feeling bruised, but not enlightened?
  5. Do you allow “I’ve got to get this off my chest!” to be the deciding factor on whether you bring up a difficult issue or give someone feedback?

 


 

Well…if you want to get better at giving feedback, here are some articles and a video to help you with that:

Do You  Know How to Give Constructive Feedback?

How to Give Constructive Feedback That Works: The Blueprint

How to Deal with the Chronically Defensive Person

Never Underestimate Your Power to Make a Difference…When You Give Feedback

 

Also…on December 16th, I’ll be giving a public seminar in Westbrook, Maine titled:

Courageous Conversations and Constructive Feedback

click here for all the details

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