If you want high levels
of employee engagement, morale, and
performance and if you want to cut down
on negativity in the workplace, then
you need your management team to know
something most people don’t know
how to do:
Make it safe for people—especially
those with less power—to
speak openly about what’s
on their mind.
Why is this so important? The answer
can be found in your own work experience
and in the “workplace war stories”
you’ve heard from others. Think
for a moment about your own experience
as an employee. Have you ever had
a boss who:
1. Frequently interrupted you?
2. Didn’t listen?
3. Required you to work over the weekend,
or some other “above and beyond
the call of duty” task, and
never bothered to thank you?
4. Spoke to you in a rude or overbearing
way?
5. Micromanaged?
Think of how many of those situations
happened without your saying something
about it. Anyone who has been in the
workplace for any length of time has
a whole collection of these incidents.
Most people only speak up about a
small fraction of these occurrences
for obvious reasons. We learn to “pick
our battles” and “grin
and bear it”.
The problem about this for managers
and for employers is that each time
this happens, employee morale and
motivation diminish. While the employee
might not speak up, they feel a little
less interested in contributing to
their employer’s success, a
little less interested in going the
extra mile—in short, a little
less engaged.
The cumulative effect of these interactions
is a workforce with low levels of
employee engagement.
Since So Few Employees Report Being
Engaged, We Can’t Afford to
Create Lower Levels of Engagement
Gallup’s research shows that only
26% of the workforce reports high levels
of engagement, and 55% are essentially
going through the motions (i.e. disengaged).
Think of the ramifications of such low
employee engagement. Imagine a professional
sports team trying to compete with only
26% of their players caring about whether
they win or not.
Employee engagement is even more
important during difficult economic
times, according to research by Watson
Wyatt Worldwide. Their research revealed
that companies with highly engaged
employees demonstrated 200% greater
profitability than companies with
low engagement during the difficult
economic period in the first part
of this century.
Because the consequences of low employee
engagement are huge, no employer can
afford the cost of ongoing employee/employer
interactions that diminish engagement.
To Build Employee Engagement, Make
It Safe For Employees to Speak Up
Listening over the years to employees
in focus groups vent about negative
interactions they had with their boss
or grievances with their employer that
were months or years old has impressed
upon me the importance of making it
safe for employees to speak up. While
the incident might have happened long
ago, they were still feeling hurt, angry,
and resentful. The incident was still
a raw wound for them. Usually, the employee
had never confronted their boss about
the incident or, if it was an organizational
change or policy that angered them,
they had never voiced their concerns
to HR or management.
The result? They remained stuck and
disengaged, while their boss and/or
their employer remained in the dark
about what they had done or were doing
that was damaging morale and engagement.
If the employees felt safe enough
to speak up and discuss such issues,
much of the negativity that plagues
many workplaces would disappear. Employees
would be more likely to move on and
once again focus all their energy
on making a contribution.
Even Great Managers Need Feedback
It isn’t just thoughtless or rude
behaviors that managers need to hear
about from their employees. It’s
also the ineffective, counterproductive
management practices that even the most
well-intentioned managers unknowingly
engage in. Because we are all imperfect,
even excellent managers inadvertently
do things that annoy and frustrate their
employees, or make it harder for them
to do their jobs well.
But, just like the person with bad
breath doesn’t realize it until
someone points it out, we don’t
recognize what we’re doing that’s
counterproductive unless we get feedback.
How to Get Useful Feedback By Signaling
That Honesty Is Welcome
Let me give you a real life example
of this in action.
Recently, a manager at a seminar
shared a great example of what I believe
is one of the most powerful communication
devices for making it safe for people
to speak up—especially when
the other person has less position
power than you.
He did what I call “Mentioning
the Unmentionable.”
This manager worked in a company
that was gong through some significant
changes, and the management team wanted
to make sure their employees were
onboard with them. To help in this
effort, they wanted to learn how to
make it comfortable for their people
to speak up about their concerns.
This manager, Steve, shared how he
learned about signaling to employees
that he values honest, open discussion.
After getting the results from the
company’s employee satisfaction
survey, he went to his team and let
them know that there were some general
perceptions employees had about their
managers that he was concerned about,
and wanted to check with them to see
if he was doing anything that bothered
them.
His request was greeted with silence.
Rather than offer an awkward “Ahhhhh,
OK, well… if there is anything,
let me know” and scurrying on
to the next subject, he Mentioned
the Unmentionable.
He said “Well let me ask you
this. One of the areas mentioned in
the survey was that employees felt
like their supervisor did too much
micromanaging. Do you feel like I
get too involved in your projects?”
Heads started to nod. Then people
started talking.
By asking them about this specific
issue, rather than just leaving it
as a generic “Is there anything
I’m doing that bothers you?”
question, he sent the message:
“It’s OK to talk about
this.”
You Need to Let Them Know “It’s
OK to Talk About This”
By putting a potentially touchy topic
on the table, you give the person
with less power permission to talk
about it.
You might think “I’m
not an intimidating individual. They
don’t need my permission to
bring up an issue!” We often
forget that while we might not feel
like we seem imposing or intimidating,
if our position carries power, that
has an effect on most people in terms
of what they will—and won’t—share
with us.
Mentioning the Unmentionable helps
reduce their reluctance because it
lets them know you’re open to
talking about the issue you just “mentioned.”
This Is Also Really Useful For Parents
If you’re a parent, I highly
recommend you use this communication
pattern with your children to make
it safe for them to speak up. This
is especially useful for children
with sensitive personalities and when
they are small, and more likely to
see an adult as an imposing figure.
I’ve had a number of situations
over the years with my daughter where
I reacted to something she did or
said with more intensity than was
warranted or I could see from her
facial expression that my scolding
her for something confused or hurt
her.
When I’ve followed up with
Mentioning the Unmentionable, such
as “Are you wondering ‘Why
was Dad all bent out of shape about
that?’” or some similar
question that puts words to what she
might be thinking, I’ve been
amazed by how much I learned from
her responses.
It’s Not Just About Clarification,
It’s About Strengthening The
Relationship
Not only does this give you useful
information, it also strengthens your
relationship because it communicates:
“I care about how I affect you.
I don’t think that just because
I’m the boss (or parent), I
get to act any way I want and you
just have to learn how to deal with
me.”
But What If You Disagree With Their
Perception?
Now, just because the other person
shares their point of view or their
feelings about an issue, doesn’t
mean that your response is to change,
based on their feedback. While it
might mean you change your position
or decision, it could mean that you
need to explain more clearly your
intention, or the reasoning behind
your actions.
So for instance, if you notice the
expression on an employee’s
face looks hurt after you give her
some negative feedback, and you ask
her if she feels your feedback is
unfair or inaccurate, and she says
“Yes, I do” that doesn’t
mean you’re supposed to say:
“OK, I take it back.”
Obviously your next move is to get
her to talk about her perspective.
Out of this discussion, you might
find yourself changing your perspective
or you might realize you need to do
a better job explaining your assessment.
Regardless of what comes out of the
conversation, the point is, without
Mentioning the Unmentionable…
… you never get to discuss
the issue, and so it doesn’t
get resolved.
With Mentioning the Unmentionable,
you get to the heart of an issue and
open the door to resolution and moving
on.
In the case of Steve, by Mentioning
the Unmentionable, he gained valuable
feedback from his employees about
how he can be an even better manager.
The Other Communication Pattern That
Opens The Door to Constructive Dialogue
Besides Mentioning the Unmentionable,
the other language pattern I’ve
found to be incredibly useful for
fostering open dialogue is what I
call:
“The Multiple Choice Approach
Opener”
To illustrate this language pattern
in action let me use a critical moment
of truth that has a huge impact on
employee morale: the performance review.
Let’s say you conduct a performance
review with your employee Jenna, that
included negative feedback. When you
ended the session, you asked Jenna
if she had any comments or questions.
She told you she didn’t. You
searched her face for clues that indicated
distress and saw none.
Days later, you notice that she hasn’t
been herself since the performance
review. She seems withdrawn, not as
enthusiastic or cheerful as she usually
is. You wonder if that’s the
emotional fall-out of the performance
review.
To communicate your willingness
to talk about this, you Mention the
Unmentionable:
“Jenna, I may be imagining
things, but it seems like you
haven’t been yourself since
we had our performance conversation.
I want to check in with you, are
you bummed about it or is something
else going on?”
Now, notice how this explicitly communicates
“It’s OK to talk about
the performance review if you’re
upset.” whereas a generic “Are
you doing OK?” doesn’t.
Now, let’s say that Jenna,
getting the message from you that
it’s OK to acknowledge her feelings
about the performance review, says
“Yes, I am upset about it.”
How NOT to Respond, If You Want
Open Dialogue
Now, imagine you respond like this:
“Thank you for being open about
this. I appreciate that. I can understand
that it wasn’t terribly fun.
Getting negative feedback isn’t
pleasant. I hope, though, you found
it useful.”
If you were Jenna, would you feel
invited to discuss your point of view
or would you feel like “case
closed”?
By following up in this way, the
boss communicates that this is the
only “boss approved” explanation.
If there are other reasons why Jenna
is upset, she probably won’t
feel comfortable bringing them up.
Using the Multiple
Choice Approach Opener
Now, imagine if you responded this
way:
“Thanks Jenna for being
open about this. I’m wondering
if you’re upset because
it’s not fun for any of
us to get negative feedback, or
if it’s because you disagree
with my assessment, or because
of the way the feedback was given,
or something else?”
Now if you’re Jenna, what messages
does this send to you?
| 1. |
Your boss cares
about how you feel and how she
affects you. How does your boss
communicate this? Both the fact
that she asked how you’re
doing and the fact that she
came up with several possible
reasons. She couldn’t
have come up with a number of
possible explanations without
having spent time reflecting
on the situation. |
 |
| 2. |
Your boss is open to any and
all issues you might have. By
offering more than one reason
or explanation for Jenna being
upset, her manager communicates
“I’m not wedded to
any one interpretation or issue
for discussion.” By offering
a number of options, including
the final “…or something
else?” her manager communicates
very explicitly that not only
is it OK to talk about any of
these issues, but any others that
aren’t on the “choice
list.” |
Summary
By making it comfortable for people
to speak up and talk about what’s
troubling them, your managers can
increase the odds that their employees
will talk openly about what’s
on their mind. Such openness increases
the odds that difficult issues will
be raised and resolved. It also increases
the odds that employees will be willing
to share valuable insights and feedback
with their managers, and management
as a whole, feedback that will help
create the kind of workplace that
leads to high levels of employee engagement,
productivity, and morale.
Related Articles:
How
to Set the Stage For a Constructive Conversation: What to Do Before You Ever Say a Word
Do
You Know How to Give Constructive Feedback . . . So It's Actually Constructive?
The
Movie Scene Every Manager Should Watch… But Might Be Afraid To
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